My Cam,

There’s a song that your Grandmommy introduced me to a long time ago.  It’s called “I Will Be Here” by Steven Curtis Chapman.  I have rocked you to sleep humming this, and when I hear the words in my heart (or coming out of my iPhone speakers) I can’t stop the tears from flowing.  It speaks to me…and I hope it speaks to you one day.  I hope that you’ll see my tears when I play it and make fun of me and tell me to stop crying, but know deep in your heart that I am crying because I love you to the point of physical pain.

So often these days, I find myself battling a tiny 13-year old, trying to emerge from her 18-month old body.  You are wise beyond your months, and you fight just like I tend to when I *disagree* with your daddy 🙂  Strong-willed, stubborn, mostly angry…and when you’ll all “fought-out”, you are reduced to sad, heartbreaking tears, and the need to be consoled.  Tears of which only I can dry, even if I’m the one who caused them.  I can’t promise that I won’t cause you more tears in your lifetime…I can’t even promise I won’t cause you tears tomorrow (psssst…quit climbing up onto the table!!)…but I can promise you that I’ll always be here to wipe them away.

And so with that, here’s my song to you.  My promise:

Tomorrow morning if you wake up and your beloved blankie has “disappeared”

I will be here.  (But it’s probably just in the washing machine).

And the next time you fall and scrape your knees and realize you DO need help navigating sometimes…take my hand, keep on moving.

I will be here.

I will be here when you need to discover new things, when you need me to tell you what something is and how it works, I will teach you and

I will be here through the fascination, frustration, and joy – we’ll be together in all of it.

I will be here.

In a few years when I send you off to Kindergarten and you tell me you want me to go with you

I will be here.  (Well, actually probably crying in the front seat of the car…)

And when you’re a little older and you need your space, I’ll let you have it, but

I will be here.

I will be here when your team wins the big game, when you get your first kiss, when your heart is first broken, I will console you and

I will be here through the moodswings, the friendship crises, and the slumber parties – you’ll be maturing before my eyes.

I will be here.

When that day comes that you leave our safe-haven and venture out to become who you’ll become

I will be here. (Missing you every day).

And when you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and you don’t know which direction you’re supposed to go

I will be here.

I will be here when you call me at one in the morning, laughing about costumes and cosmos and I will tell you to be careful and

I will be here telling you how beautiful you are and how proud of you I am before you walk down that aisle, then I’ll fluff your dress one more time.

I will be here.

And when you call me and tell me that life is so hard and the laundry is up to your ears.

I will be here.

The baby’s crying, the dog is shedding, and you’re the happiest you’ve been in years

I will be here.

I will be here when you think you’re doing it all wrong, when you’re taking big risks and following your dreams, I’ll be your savior and

I will be here when you just want someone to cry to, you want someone to put away your dishes (I’ll call your Grandma) but

I will be here.

And just as sure as the hours go by, I love you more with each passing day.

So – I will be here.  You’ll be my favorite person.

I will be here.

Love,

Mom

**Now follow the blog circle around to read more Letters to Our Daughters…and start with Jennifer of Surrounded by Smaylets…and then be inspired to write your own letters!